On a serious note.

I've been thinking lately about censorship, the personal kind, that we do to ourselves everyday. I put on different standards for the places I go or the people that are going to be there. 

Writing a blog makes me realize how much I keep hidden from the world. There are thoughts and events and ideas that I feel compelled to share but when I realize the diversity in the audience that might be reached I realize that my self censorship spikes out of control. 

It's very rare that a person would say the same thing to their friend that they would say to a lover or a parent, but I want to be able to break that wall. I want to be able to say what I want and not fear the judgment or persecution of the groups that are brought together by my writing. 

Honestly, it's probably not a big deal since only about 4 people read this. It is probably a safer medium for my personal thoughts and feelings than the journal that I hide under my bed. 

I have been feeling very disconnected from myself lately and the little voice that keeps my identity and social safety in check has been letting me know that it's time to try harder to "be myself" 

That time honored quote that gets passed down from generation to generation that has virtually no meaning. It seems that one has no choice but to be oneself. Though often a person finds that the oneself  thought to be is not as shiny and good and acceptable as they would like, reluctance or guilt does not make anyone less authentic.

I have been living in a perpetual state of trying to please other people with my words and actions, and it seems that no matter what I try to do there is always at least one person dissatisfied with my attempts. Obviously the only solution is to be sure that I am satisfied with each attempt. 

So, stay tuned as I, Zia Sophia take on the open road, and allow my authentic self be good enough for me.